April and Ryan are Gettin' Hitched

Below you'll find the details of Ms. Baer's Big Bachelorette Blowout, Part I. Soon, I assume, you'll get the gory details of Part II.

I have no photographic documentation of life in Portland while Part I went down in Las Vegas. The boys and I went to see John Prine and that was about that. I spent the rest of the weekend leaving the toilet seat up, except when necessary. Thus, the Seat-Up Weekend was born.

Which brings us to Seat-Up Weekend Part Deux, or 2 1/2, if you're into the Naked Gun 33 1/3-ology.

With the girls gone wild in the gorge, here's what we men were faced with: Game 5 of the Red Wings-Sharks NHL series followed by the Kentucky Derby followed by Game 1 of the Pistons-Bulls NBA series followed by the Oscar De La Hoya-Floyd Mayweather Jr. fight followed by poker.

Man Day (with apologies to the Discovery Channel's Monday night lineup). The kind of day that asks for, no, requires, coolers full of beer, bowls full of chips and pretzels, a grill full of steaks, a beef log, 1/3 a bottle of Maker's Mark, Motley Crue and a little death metal.

I'm proud to report no one was hurt in the making of this day, though most of us lost small amounts of money to Looper, Lithium and The Accountant, who might or might not have walked home. Nonetheless, he now knows the MAX doesn't run at 2 a.m.

And lest you think the day was completely unhealthy, Riddle and Matt brought vegetables for lunch.

The full photo set is here.